You have to be cruel to be kind. In Australia (as well as much of the world) there is an obesity epidemic. One of the main reasons of that epidemic is the acceptance of fat people and the unwritten rule forbidding the criticism of fat people.

I just read an article of a mother who shed 6 stones (38.1kg or 84 pounds) after being told to hit the gym. Initially she was upset with the man (crying all the way home) but in the end thanked him after being the catalyst for her weight loss.

She eventually lost the weight for her wedding and leads a more active lifestyle.

Now let’s not pretend this man had altruistic or even caring intentions. He was disgusted by what he saw and was intentionally cruel to this woman for the sake of causing maximum pain.

However this short term pain turned into a longer term gain.

Our society today demands that people refrain from criticising fat people for being fat. They reason that they do not want to hurt their feelings.

Unfortunately this is short term gain that causes long term pain (the effects of obesity over a long period of time). Our intention to be kind to people harms them in the long run.

This form of instant gratification is much the same as stuffing your face with fast food. It feels really good to eat. However after half an hour or so the enjoyment wears off and you’re stuck with a sick feeling in your stomach.

Do this enough times and you eventually get fat, causing physical and psychological problems.

My Experience

I have had my own experience with weight gain. I will go to greater detail about this later on. However I will share a quick story.

My grandmother had left for a 6 month holiday to Dubai (where my uncle used to live). While she was gone I thought it a good idea to drink 4 liters of milk a day (about a gallon).

This fattened me up (gained 15 kilos in that time).

When my grandmother got back we all welcomed her back into her house. As she got out of the car and walked towards me I stretched my arms out to hug her… rather than hug me back she pointed to my stomach and said “you’ve gotten fatter” before walking into the house (avoiding the hug).

Needless to say, I promptly lost the weight.

The Solution

I am not suggesting doing what the man did in the article I read (be intentionally hurtful). However we should make it clear that fatness doesn’t look attractive.

Simon, how do we do this?

Glad you asked.

The first line of defense is the family unit. When my grandmother told me I was fat, the rest of my family laughed. It wasn’t the least bit awkward and there were no negative feelings involved.

If you have a family member who is fat or getting fat you should tell them straight away. Especially if they are only just beginning to get fat (when it is easier for them to lose the tiny bit of extra weight).

The second line of defense should be close friends (followed by friends). This isn’t as effective and is slightly more awkward (risk losing a friendship if you aren’t good enough friends).

However what is more important, the friendship or your friends well-being? If you chose your friendship then you have to ask how strong your friendship is.

The third line of defense is society as a whole. Do not publicly criticise a person for calling some else out for being fat. Even if they did it in a cruel way.

Also do not go out of your way to call a fat person beautiful or attractive (even if they have beautiful features).

Plus size models should be a (very embarrassing) thing of the past.

Just like clubs have dress codes, they should also have weight codes. Someone who looks fat should not be allowed in to a club for example.

‘Big is beautiful’ would be a thing of the past.

Conclusion

The following is a list of possible scenarios for society. As we go down the list, society becomes worse off.

1) There is no stigma against calling fat people out. A person who begins to gain unwanted weight will immediately have their family and friends on their back. The problem is nipped in the bud as the person is told about it once the slightest bit of fat shows.

Fat guys and girls are now allowed in clubs (thus not blocking the views of the attractive guys and girls). There are no ‘big is beautiful’ campaigns. There are no fat TV talk show hosts glorifying their fatness.

Unwanted weight gain isn’t allowed to be seen as a consequence of poor genes or hormonal imbalance (except in the most extreme of circumstances). The fatness is seen for what it is, a result of over eating.

2) Family members voice concern over weight gain of an individual once their weight gets out of control (obesity). Close friends will also comment on the weight gain encouraging their friend to shed the kilos/pounds. They do not criticise the person but instead encourage him/her.

There are still plenty of fat people on TV. They are never publicly called out for their weight gain.

People are allowed into clubs while being fat.

A few extra pounds are seen as healthy (“don’t want them to starve, right?”).

3) Big is beautiful.

Plus size models invade the cat walk. Obesity called healthy (despite all the evidence proving otherwise).

If you aren’t fat, you are anorexic. Normal sized models (who are perfectly healthy) are criticised for starving themselves (despite leading active lifestyles and eating well). These healthy and beautiful models have to apologise for their beauty.

The meaning of obesity is distorted as there are so many people overweight. What was once considered overweight is now considered normal… what was once considered obese is just considered slightly overweight.

People are too afraid to talk about a persons weight for fear of social retribution.

Conclusion (Again)

Which of the above scenarios do you think is closest to the current society’s view on obesity?

Regards

-Simon

Wives have been ‘banning’ their husbands from visiting a bar in the Italian town of Bagnolo. They have been doing this because the woman who owns the bar (Laura Maggi) dresses up in skimpy outfits.

Think Coyote Ugly (except without all the music and dancing).

You can see pictures Laura in the article. She is 34 and rather attractive. Her flaunting of her body is her unique selling proposition that ‘brings all the boys to the yard’ so to speak.

According to reports, the women of the town are going wild with jealousy.

So why are they jealous?

Surely these men have no chance with this one barmaid. My guess is that this woman (who takes care of her body) is holding these women up to a higher standard to what they are currently being held up to.

Even the mayor of the town is in on the act. Here is a picture of her.

Why would the mayor (as pictured above) have a problem with her husband seeing this?

No idea.

Apparently the mayor has banned her husband from going to the bar. Which brings me to my next point.

Why the hell are these men accepting these bans as if they actually meant something. The top commenter in the article mentioned said it best:

(Notice how I also gave it a thumbs up).

If I was married and my wife ‘banned’ me from going, I would be down there every night. Even if I had never heard of the bar in the first place. I would be there just to give the middle finger to the ban. These men should do the same thing.

Why are these women attempting to ban their men from going anyways? (hint: I already gave the answer as jealousy and a lack of desire to be held up to a higher standard… but let’s just pretend I didn’t say anything).

This can be answered using a quote from the article:

She has 5,000 new friends on Facebook while a local poll found that 46 per cent of respondents said partners of her male customers should be ‘asking themselves why their partners prefer Laura to them’.